Five Ways to Fix the NFL

By Stanley


Currently, the National Football League is the consensus favorite professional sporting organization among American sports fans. As a big football fan myself, I support almost everything that the league does. In my opinion, it is the best sports league in basically every aspect; it has the best commissioner, the best championship, and the most passionate fans. However, there are several changes that the NFL could make in order to further perfect the league and its competition.

1. Somebody help the Lions. Every single member of the Lions front office should be fired, effective immediately. This purge ranges from the General Manager to the mascot. After the Lions’ 2008 debacle, in which they went 0-16, some people in the front office actually got promoted. How is it possible for anyone to get promoted after helping to manage the worst team in NFL history? Well, it is possible because of the Lions’ owner, William Clay Ford. Wait, you may ask, isn’t that the guy that helped to run the Ford Motor Company for years? Yes, it is, and if he cannot even build one legitimate winning football team in 50 years, how is he supposed to be able to run a major car company? You got me on that one (He actually retired from the company in 2005). Ford bought the Lions right after their decade of dominance, in which they won three championships in the 1950’s. Since then? One playoff win. It is up for debate whether Ford Motor Company or the Lions are more deserving of a bailout.
2. Change the theme music for NBC Sunday Night Football. One of the most important aspects of a game broadcast, in any sport, is the theme music that is played before and after commercial breaks. The other football networks all have solid music. However, NBC did a terrible job. The first time I heard this music, I was appalled. It sounds like someone is just playing random notes on an out-of-tune trumpet. Somebody please write a new song for NBC, which is apparently incompetent to do this.
3. Please get each the Bears and Vikings a quarterback. In 2006, the Chicago Bears made it to the Super Bowl with Rex Grossman at quarterback, one of the more atrocious starting quarterbacks I have seen this decade. They lost the game to the Colts, mostly due to awful quarterback play. This Chicago team, with its awesome defense, would be a Super Bowl contender every year with a semi-competent quarterback. Instead they give us Kyle Orton, who is almost as bad as Grossman. The Bears’ rival, the Minnesota Vikings, have one of the best all-around teams in the league right now. However, they have terrible quarterbacks. Last year the Vikings made the playoffs and actually thought they had a chance to win it all with Gus Frerotte and Tarvaris Jackson splitting quarterback duties. Are you kidding? So, finally they decide to address their quarterback problems this offseason by acquiring, of all people, Sage Rosenfels, a career backup. Well done, Chicago and Minnesota. Way to use good judgment in building a winning team.
4. Reduce the amount of people on pre-game shows. This atrocity persists on basically every NFL broadcast network. Each network feels the need to fit as many people as possible into their respective pregame shows, which just causes confusion and awful commentating. Some advice to the networks: stick to the guys that are good. I do not need to hear Emmitt Smith butchering the English language on ESPN, Shannon Sharpe screaming about absolutely nothing on CBS, or even Keith Olbermann making awful jokes on NBC. Networks feel the need to bring in every possible ex-player for commentary just so that other networks do not bring them in. What the fan wants is a couple of educated broadcasters giving insight into the games, not a war between the networks to see which one can have the most commentators in studio.
5. Stop calling the Dallas Cowboys “America’s Team.” As I am a Washington Redskins fan, you can call me biased for bringing this up. But objectively speaking, the Cowboys are not America’s team. The current Dallas squad is made up by a bunch of selfish crybabies who put themselves above the team, something that Americans do not typically appreciate. The Pittsburgh Steelers are a much better fit for the title, as they truly represent the American dream. The Steelers are hardworking, physical, and unselfish. They put the team above the individual. But the truth is that there is not really one America’s Team. In 2001, after 9/11, it was the New England Patriots. In 2006, a year after Hurricane Katrina, America’s Team was the New Orleans Saints. The team that most of America roots for changes from year to year. The Dallas Cowboys simply have too many haters, including the author of this editorial, in order to be called “America’s Team.” The Cowboys do not represent anything that American stand for, and if they are truly our “team”, then we should all be embarrassed for the ideals of our country.